“We are the last stoats
Stuart and Stefanie
the last stoats
on Aotearoa’s shores.
We are the last stoats
Stuart and Stefanie
the last stoats
so spare us we implore.”
“Do you think we are crazy
or stupid or dumb?
If we let you live
our good work’d be undone!
For you the last stoats
Stuart and Stefanie
would be the first stoats
of a million more
on Aotearoa’s shores.
So please stop your whining
Don’t plead and don’t cry
The sun is out shining
It’s a good day to die
For you the last stoats
Stuart and Stefanie
the last stoats
on Aotearoa’s shores.”
“Righty-ho ranger
we’ll give up the fight
if you give us a last meal
our constitutional right.
A last meal to dine on
To savour, to crunch
Can you guess what we’re wanting?
We bet you have a hunch.
We’d like four whio ducklings
so succulent, so fresh
and a couple of kiwi
just out of the nest.
and two little riflemen
to gulp in one go
and eight emerald geckos
which move far too slow.
Then a few long-tailed bats
so chewy, so nice –
no need for marinating
or sprinkling of spice!
When those entrees are eaten
we’ll be ready for mains
A plump kakapo
just served up plain
And two kea, skewered
to keep them in place
The way they flap around
is an utter disgrace.”
“Oh, you never give up
and it’s too late to run
No last meal for you two
Your days here are done.
You are the last stoats
Stuart and Stefanie
the last stoats
on our beautiful shores.
We will see you no more.”
That's about the size of it 